A Lawyer’s Guide to Navigating Mandatory Custody Mediation in San Diego
When parents argue about custody issues, it’s hard on everyone involved, especially the children. To help resolve these disputes, courts in San Diego County require parents to participate in custody mediation through Family Court Services (FCS) before appearing in front of a judge. This process is unlike mediation in many other jurisdictions; it’s mandatory, ordered by the court, and it plays an important role in the court’s decision.
Amelia Mattis is a marriage and family law attorney who focuses on custody issues in San Diego. At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we understand how difficult custody mediation can be, and we’re here to help.
What Is Mandatory Custody Mediation?
In California, courts are required to make sure that parents attempt to resolve custody disputes through mediation before litigating them in court. San Diego County uses a special form of mediation through Family Court Services (FCS), which is located inside the courthouse.
Mediation is mandatory for:
- Initial custody and visitation disputes
- Modification of an existing custody order
- Disagreements over parenting plans or time-sharing
Unlike private mediation, FCS mediation is free, and the mediator submits recommendations to the judge if the parents don’t reach an agreement.
The Mediator’s Role
Mediators are trained mental health professionals. They do not advocate for either party and cannot provide legal advice. But they do have the power to influence custody outcomes, particularly when parents present conflicting narratives or show hostility during mediation.
In Family Court Services mediation, the mediator’s role is to:
- Encourage both parents to focus on the child’s best interests
- Help identify areas of disagreement and conflict
- Facilitate communication between the parents
- Provide parenting education or referrals to resources, if necessary
- Draft a written agreement when parents can agree on one
- Recommend a parenting plan to the judge if no agreement is reached
What Happens During Custody Mediation?
In San Diego County, most custody mediation sessions are held virtually or by phone, although some may occur in person depending on the case.
The Pre-Mediation Questionnaire
You may be asked to complete an intake form explaining your desired parenting plan, your child’s needs, and any concerns you have, such as safety, special needs, or parental conflict.
Custody-Focused Discussion
The mediator is not there to resolve financial issues like child support or property division. Instead, the mediator will guide the discussion toward child-focused issues, including:
- Physical custody (where the child lives)
- Legal custody (who makes decisions)
- Holiday and vacation schedules
- Transportation and pick-up routines
- Schooling, medical care, and extracurricular activities
What Happens When You Reach an Agreement During Mediation?
If both parties agree to a parenting plan, the mediator will write it up and submit it to the judge for approval. Once signed by the judge, it becomes a binding court order.
There are many advantages to settling your issues through mediation because parents retain more control and you can avoid additional stress and litigation costs.
What Happens If You Don’t Reach an Agreement During Mediation?
If no agreement is reached, the mediator submits a mediation report to the judge outlining the session and making formal recommendations. This report may include:
- A proposed custody and visitation schedule
- Commentary on each parent’s behavior or ability to co-parent
- Observations about communication, emotional control, or flexibility
- Concerns about stability, housing, or school consistency
Your conduct during mediation very important. Judges often defer to the mediator’s recommendations, particularly in high-conflict cases or where the parents appear uncooperative.
Mediation Tips for Parents
Focus on the Child’s Needs
Avoid talking about what’s fair to you. Instead, keep your statements centered on your child’s routines, emotional needs, education, and relationships with both parents.
Stay Calm and Respectful
Mediators note everything, from your body language to your tone of voice. Avoid criticizing the other parent. Stick to facts and focus on solutions.
Have a Clear Parenting Plan in Mind
Know what you’re asking for and why. Be ready to explain how your plan supports your child’s well-being and keeps both parents involved (when safe and appropriate).
Bring Documentation if Needed
If there are safety concerns, therapy plans, or school issues, bring copies of reports, emails, or evaluations that support your concerns.
Talk to a Lawyer if You Have Any Questions
While lawyers typically don’t attend FCS mediation in San Diego, we can help you prepare so you can be informed, confident, and focused on your goals.
Special Considerations: Mental Health, Substance Abuse, and Domestic Violence
Custody mediation becomes even more complex when serious issues are involved. You may be concerned about:
- A parent’s mental health issues
- Substance abuse
- Domestic violence
- Your child’s special needs
It is essential to raise those concerns in your intake form and during mediation. Be specific, bring documentation, and remain calm in your delivery.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, you have the right to request a separate mediation session, have a support person present, and take steps to protect your safety throughout the process. We can assist you in making that request.
What Happens After Mediation?
Once the mediation report is submitted, the court will schedule a hearing where each parent can respond. If you agree with the recommendation, the judge may issue a final custody order at that hearing.
If you disagree, you may have the right to:
- Present evidence and testimony in court
- Request a Child Custody Evaluation
- Cross-examine the mediator (in some instances)
- Offer alternative parenting plans for consideration
Why Legal Representation Matters
At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we help clients:
- Identify parenting plan goals and legal strategy
- Review and complete pre-mediation forms
- Anticipate mediator questions
- Practice communication strategies for the session
- Understand how the process affects your rights
If the case proceeds to a hearing, we’re prepared to evaluate the mediation report and develop strong courtroom strategies to support your position
Speak With a Trusted San Diego Custody Attorney
For parents in La Jolla, custody mediation is an important step in the custody process. Let our legal team help you prepare an effective strategy. Amelia Mattis of Mattis Law, A.P.C. has been named as a Top 10 Family Law Attorney in California by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys.
Call (858) 328-4400 for a free consultation and learn more about how we can help your family thrive.