How to Rotate Holiday Parenting Time for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas in La Jolla: A Guide to Custody Schedules
For many families, holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas carry special meaning. These traditions bring comfort, continuity, and joy for children. But when parents are separated or divorced, deciding how to share these holidays can be one of the most challenging parts of a custody arrangement.
Conflicts about holiday schedules are common. One parent may want to maintain longstanding traditions, while the other may want equal time to create new ones. Without a clear plan, disagreements can quickly escalate, making the season stressful for both parents and children.
Amelia Mattis is a custody lawyer in La Jolla. Mattis Law, A.P.C. created this guide explaining how rotating holiday custody works, how California courts address holiday visitation, and what parents can do to avoid disagreements.
When Holiday Parenting Schedules Cause Disagreements
Even when parents cooperate most of the year, holiday parenting schedule disputes can be a sticking point. Common sources of conflict include:
- Overlapping traditions: Both parents may want to host Thanksgiving dinner or open presents on Christmas morning.
- Extended family expectations: Grandparents, cousins, and other relatives often want children present at their own gatherings.
- School calendars: Breaks can vary, leading to arguments over travel or extended visits.
- Unequal travel logistics: One parent may live farther away, complicating short holiday visits.
Without a clear holiday visitation plan, problems can arise right before the holidays, when there’s already a lot of stress on families.
How California Courts Address Holiday Custody
California family courts encourage parents to resolve holiday schedules through parenting plans. If parents cannot agree, the court will create a holiday visitation order that prioritizes the child’s best interests. In these cases, courts consider:
- Fairness: Both parents should have meaningful holiday time whenever possible.
- Stability for the child: Courts avoid arrangements that disrupt school or create unnecessary stress.
- Practicality: Travel distance and the child’s age are factored in when deciding exchanges.
- Consistency: Courts prefer predictable, repeatable schedules that reduce conflict year after year.
Workable Custody Arrangements for the Holidays
There is no single way to arrange holiday parenting time. Parents can choose from several approaches, often combining them to fit their needs.
Alternating Holidays Each Year
One parent has the child for Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas in odd-numbered years, while the other has them in even-numbered years. This is one of the fairest and most predictable options for rotating Christmas custody and other major holidays.
Splitting the Holiday
Some families divide the holiday itself. For example:
- Thanksgiving: One parent has the child from Wednesday evening to Friday afternoon; the other from Friday evening through Sunday.
- Christmas: One parent has Christmas Eve and the morning; the other has Christmas Day afternoon and the following days.
Finding Common Ground
In some cases, it makes sense for one parent to always have the child on a particular holiday. For instance, if one parent’s extended family gathers every Christmas Eve while the other’s gathers on Christmas Day, the schedule can reflect that tradition.
Special Considerations for Halloween
While it’s not a court-recognized federal holiday, Halloween often becomes a contested time because of school events, costume parades, and trick-or-treating. Parents in La Jolla may choose to:
- Alternate years for Halloween night.
- Split the evening, with one parent handling early festivities and the other later activities.
- Allow both parents to participate if they can co-parent respectfully in the same neighborhood.
Strategies for Splitting Winter Break Custody
Winter break is usually two weeks or longer, which provides flexibility for parents to create meaningful traditions. Common options include:
- Alternating weeks: Each parent takes one week of the break.
- Alternating years: One parent has the entire break in odd-numbered years, the other in even-numbered years.
- Dividing by holiday: One parent has Christmas, while the other has New Year’s, with the rest of the break divided fairly.
The best arrangement is one that minimizes disruption for the child and provides clarity for both parents.
Modifying Parenting Plans for Holiday Scheduling
If your current parenting plan does not address holidays, or if the arrangement no longer works, parents may request a parenting plan modification. Courts in California allow modifications when:
- Circumstances have changed (e.g., one parent moves, or the child’s needs evolve).
- The existing plan causes repeated conflict.
- A parent routinely violates the holiday schedule.
To modify an order, a parent typically files a Request for Order (RFO) with the court. Working with a La Jolla child custody lawyer helps ensure that your modification request is well-supported and focused on the child’s best interests.
Tips for Conflict-Free Co-Parenting During the Holidays
Holiday disputes can be minimized when parents follow these strategies:
- Plan early: Don’t wait until mid-November to discuss Thanksgiving. Address holiday schedules months in advance.
- Use written agreements: Clear, written parenting plans prevent misunderstandings.
- Be flexible: Compromise, when possible, especially for special events like concerts, recitals, or family trips.
- Prioritize your child’s experience: Holidays should be about creating positive memories for children, not winning time against the other parent.
- Use mediation before court: Neutral mediators can help resolve disputes without litigation.
Reasons to Work With Our Firm
Disputes over holiday parenting time require sensitivity, legal knowledge, and practical solutions. At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we focus exclusively on family law, guiding clients through custody challenges with compassion.
Amelia Mattis has been named a Top 10 Family Law Attorneys in California by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys, and she was listed as a Rising Star by Super Lawyers. Whether you need help with rotating holiday custody in La Jolla, a California holiday visitation order, or parenting plan modifications, our firm can provide the legal support you need.
Speak With a Trusted Custody Lawyer in La Jolla
At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we provide tailored solutions for families who are managing custody challenges in La Jolla and San Diego. Let us help you design a holiday schedule that prioritizes your child’s happiness while protecting your parental rights.
Call (858) 328-4400 to schedule a free consultation today.