6 Steps to Help Your Child Through a Divorce in San Diego
Divorce can feel overwhelming for parents, and it’s disorienting for your children. As a San Diego divorce attorney with a strong focus on child custody, Amelia J. Mattis understands that when you separate from a spouse, your child’s emotional well-being must be a top priority.
At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we understand that your child’s well-being is your highest priority. That’s why we provide and compassion and support to help your family through this difficult time.
No divorce is easy, but it doesn’t have to leave lasting emotional damage. With patience, honest communication, and strategic legal planning, you can help your child emerge from this experience feeling safe, loved, and heard.
Step 1: Start With an Age-Appropriate Conversation
When talking to your kids about divorce, avoid blame, guilt, or lengthy justifications. Instead, focus on reassurance, love, and future plans.
The way you explain your divorce should reflect your child’s age, emotional maturity, and ability to process complex information. This is often referred to as an age appropriate talk divorce approach.
Young children (ages 2–7) need simple, concrete explanations. Reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them.
Pre-teens and adolescents may have more pointed questions. Be honest but avoid discussing adult conflicts or legal issues. Reaffirm that their needs and voices matter.
Step 2: Prioritize Stability and Structure
Maintaining stability is one of the most powerful ways to ease your child’s stress during a divorce. This means making an effort to maintain school schedules, routines, bedtime rituals, and weekend plans consistent..
Under California Family Code § 3011, courts evaluate the health, safety, and welfare of the child, and they strongly consider each parent’s ability to provide a stable and consistent environment. As you’re developing a parenting plan, remember that judge appreciate parents who demonstrate attentiveness to their child’s need for structure.
You can use co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, or 2houses to streamline co-parenting communication, reduce misunderstandings, and manage shared responsibilities with transparency.
Step 3: Build a Parenting Plan That Works for Your Child
One of the most important legal steps in any custody case is the development of a parenting plan. This document outlines where the child will live, how decisions will be made, and how time will be divided between parents. California courts require parenting plans to reflect the best interest of the child under Family Code § 3020.
A strong parenting plan should include:
- Weekday and weekend schedules
- Holiday and vacation arrangements
- Communication rules
- Decision-making authority (medical, educational, etc.)
- Transportation and exchanges
At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we help San Diego families draft clear and customized parenting plans that align with the unique dynamics of your household.
Step 4: Consider Divorce Therapy and Emotional Support Services
It’s natural for children to experience emotional highs and lows during a divorce. But if your child is struggling with prolonged sadness, aggression, anxiety, or withdrawal, professional counseling may be a wise step.
In many San Diego custody cases, parents agree to therapy voluntarily, but courts may also order counseling or supervised visitation when deemed necessary under California Evidence Code § 730. This is especially relevant in cases involving parental alienation, domestic violence, or high-conflict parenting dynamics.
Step 5: Prepare for a Psychological Evaluation if Required
In divorces involving contentious custody disputes, the court may order a 730 Evaluation. This is a court-ordered psychological assessment of one or both parents (and sometimes the child). These evaluations help the judge make informed decisions about what custody arrangement supports the child’s best interests.
Although it may sound intimidating, this process is designed to protect the child and clarify concerns such as:
- Allegations of abuse
- Mental health stability
- Substance abuse
- Co-parenting conflict
At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we guide clients through every step of this process, from selecting an evaluator to preparing for interviews and gathering documentation.
Step 6: Enroll in San Diego Court-Approved Co-Parenting and Education Programs
Parents involved in child custody disputes in San Diego County must attend Parent Orientation through Family Court Services before mediation. This class covers:
- The impact of divorce on children
- Tools for reducing conflict
- Strategies for productive co-parenting communication
Enrolling in these programs supports your child’s emotional well-being. It also demonstrates your commitment to proactive parenting, something judges often take into account during custody hearings.
What California Law Says About Child Custody
California family law prioritizes the best interests of the child over everything else. Key principles that judges apply in San Diego custody cases include:
- Frequent and continuing contact with both parents (unless unsafe)
- Consistency in schooling, medical care, and emotional support
- Protection from parental conflict or manipulation
- Each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other
Reasons to Choose Amelia J. Mattis
Amelia J. Mattis, San Diego Divorce Lawyer, has been named to the Top 10 Family Law Attorneys in California by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys and she was selected by Expertise.com as one of the Best Divorce Lawyers in San Diego.
Ameila has successfully represented many parents in custody modifications, international move-away requests, and high-conflict co-parenting disputes. Her approach combines deep legal knowledge with genuine care for children’s long-term health and emotional development.
Speak With a Trusted Divorce and Family Law Attorney in San Diego
At Mattis Law, A.P.C., we believe that protecting your relationship with your child is just as important as resolving legal issues. Amelia J. Mattis has helped countless San Diego families navigate the difficult terrain of custody and divorce.
Call us today at (858) 328-4400 for a free consultation.
You’re not just going through a legal case, you’re shaping your child’s future. Let’s work together to make it a strong one.